Monday, May 11, 2009

Heartbroken.

This is not the post I was supposed to be putting up on my blog this afternoon. I'd already started this morning on the post all about our newest family member, but as you all know, life doesn't always go according to plan.

This afternoon when I returned home from my ballet stint, I was only greeted at the door by one dog instead of my usual two (the other three spend their days in the doghouse since they aren't exactly 100% trustworthy in the toileting department). Mazi bounded out the door to go potty, but I found sweet Summer, our golden retriever lying on our wood floors panting heavily. I knew something was wrong, called my husband immediately, and of course, began praying and begging God to make her be okay. My husband arrived, transferred her to the car, and rushed off to the vet, while I had to compose myself and go pick up our four-year-old from preschool.

Sure enough, about thirty minutes later, my husband called, sobbing into the phone that she was gone. She'd had a stroke and passed away in his arms before he was able to get to the vet, even though the vet said there would have been nothing he could have done to save her. We are thankful to God that she had 11 very happy years on this earth. My husband bought her four years before we met -- he showed up at the breeder's to get a puppy, and found out that she was the runt of the litter and was going to be put to sleep. My husband, ever the tender-hearted animal lover, immediately told them he wanted to buy her. He got Mazi, a Heinz-57 mix, a year later, and the two were inseparable from that point forward. I'm having a really hard time looking at Mazi right now because I don't think she even realizes yet that her best friend, her sister, is gone.

Man, this is hard.

This isn't supposed to be how today was going to go.

She is supposed to be here, sitting at my feet, thumping her tail and grinning up at me.

I know that her whole life was a blessing, I truly do, and I am thankful that she went quickly and probably not in much pain, but it still isn't erasing the fact that I want her back. I want her back. We're the family with FIVE dogs, and that wasn't supposed to change anytime soon. They're not just our dogs, they are our babies. Oh yeah, we've always been THOSE people. And she was our sweetest and happiest one.

I'll be okay, I promise. But you might just have to wait a little longer for that post about our sweet kitty. He's currently sitting on my shoulder (I don't even know if he weighs a pound yet), purring and drying my tears. Good timing, really.

10 comments:

~Michelle~ said...

Oh chica! What a sad day - any time I read a post like this, I have to wipe back a few of my own tears...I'm going to be such a mess when my hooligans leave us for Pet Heaven. I'm glad you have a new little sweet fluff to help you manage the tears though.

tag's team said...

Val - Thinking of you today... I know that Summer will be missed...

Tina said...

So sorry Valerie!

Happily Ever After said...

I'm so sorry, Val. Summer was such a sweetheart.

The Busters said...

Valerie,
I was so shocked to see this. I am so glad I got to meet her. She was so sweet and loving. I will be keeping you and Doug in my thoughts.
Emily

Karen said...

oh gosh Val, I am SO sorry this has happened to you and your family. Your Christmas picture is still up on my cabinet and I was just telling a friend about you and your dogs....so ironic.
You guys saved her and gave her a wonderful life I'm sure. She was your baby and you were her people and that was just the way it was supposed to be. Feel good that you gave her the great life that you did. I am so sad for you - sending hugs from Virginia xoxo K

Baloney said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm a dog fanatic myself so I totally understand.
When my golden had to be put to sleep I couldn't even bring myself to come home until late that night. That annoying tail of hers thumping against everything might have been the thing I missed the most.
Hope the healing begins soon.

fi said...

Oh sweetheart, i am soooo sorry for your loss.Hold onto all those amazing memories you have.love fi

LauraJ said...

Awww big big hugs!!

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry Valerie - I'm crying with you! I can't imagine how hard this is.