Hilarious.

I saw this "meme" on an adoption blog and had to try it. As stated, it is pretty self-explanatory and also pretty darn entertaining as you will see:

1. Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search:
Valerie needs to weed out those who seek only to waste her time as soon as possible. (Appropriate enough by itself, but a little horrifying that this was from a website for a professional escort service -- yipes!)

2: Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search:
Valerie looks like a "giant blowdryer". (Ha! I'm not sure this one rings true, but it certainly made me laugh.) Or how about this one: Valerie looks like a "21st century scarecrow". (Gee, thanks.) Or this one: Valerie looks amazing! She's even hotter than her Jordache jean wearing days... (Ah, so nice that you noticed!)

3: Type in “[your name] does” in Google search:
Valerie does Dancing With the Stars. (My mom would be so proud. And jealous.) Or even better: Valerie does walk kinda funny with a bit of a leg gap. Like she sleeps with pillows between her legs or perhaps a Quarter Horse? (Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.)

4: Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search:
Valerie hates hiccups. (TRUE!! SO TRUE!!! I used to get hiccups something awful in school -- I sound like a sick dragon when I get them and used to get sent out of the classroom because it was so disruptive. I also tend to get them for hours at a time, which is so miserable.) Also, Valerie hates to date vacuum cleaners. (Yep, they can tend to really suck. Hahahahaha, I crack myself up.)

5: Type in “[your name] goes to” in Google search:
Valerie goes to Shipshewana. (Never heard of it, but apparently it is a town in Indiana where you can buy plain dresses in the Amish or Quaker style. Note to self: add that to the list of must-see places apparently, even though it sounds a far cry from Anthropologie...) Or my personal favorite: Valerie goes to the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah every January. (I'm oh-so-cool that way.)

6: Type in “[your name] loves” in Google search:
Valerie Loves Me! (Yes, kids, repeat it over and over to yourself. I love each and every one of you. I think.)

7: Type in “[your name] eats” in Google search:
Valerie eats dog biscuits. (??? Come on?! I know I have five dogs and all, but really???!)

8: Type in “[your name] has” in Google search:
Valerie has arrived. (Oh yes, yes she has. Here I am, world, watch out!)

9: Type in “[your name] will” in Google search:
Valerie will clean your house, change light bulbs, wash the dishes, do the laundry, check the sports scores for you, book plane tickets and call the police if there's an emergency. She speaks English but more importantly, understands English and hence be programmed by non-programmers. Valerie will be on sale by Christmas 2004 for US$59,000 with a two year warranty. (This totally had me cracking up -- apparently there is a "domestic android" out there for sale named Valerie. So don't get your hopes up folks -- it would take a lot more than $59,000 to get me to come do all of that!)

So, what all has your name been up to?